Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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