you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
