either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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