I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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