I must be too annoying 4 u.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
