they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
