ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
