I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
