I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize