I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
