All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
