Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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