i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Its about making memories worth repressing
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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