I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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