to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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