why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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