the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
