sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
