she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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