Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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