This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i dont even know how to be here
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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