I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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