I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
