I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
