I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
