im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
