he puts the penis in happiness.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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