god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I need water and some morals
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
