playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I AM VODKA MAN
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize