the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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