sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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