I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
