is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
