dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
