before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
