Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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