he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
