I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
