He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have aggressive nipples.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize