Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
