How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
