you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
