i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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