you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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