i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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