Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
