Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
