I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
