ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
