And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
