whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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