so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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