HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
