I want to have your abortion
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize