Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
