Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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