you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
