i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
