and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
