I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
