i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We have started to decorate penises.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I deserve this hangover.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
