I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
