I cockslap morals
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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