can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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