I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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