I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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